The 2018 Farm Bill: There’s Plenty of Blame – and Manure – to Be Spread Around
An Impartial Reader asks: What’s up with the farm bill?
On May 18, the big, stupid, wildly expensive farm bill – the “Agricultural and Nutrition Act of 2018” – was voted down in the House of Representatives.
Traditionally, a farm bill is a cozy bipartisan boondoggle. But in this case, the partisan doggles failed to cozily boon.
Traditionally, a farm bill is a cozy bipartisan boondoggle. But in this case, the partisan doggles failed to cozily boon.
Democrats refused to vote for the bill because they’re furious about its stricter work and job-training rules for Food Stamp recipients. And 30 conservative Republicans refused to vote for the bill because they’re furious about… all sorts of things… about the ridiculous spending in the bill, but also about the refusal of Democrats to compromise on immigration policy, and about other Republicans being complicit with Democratic intransigence, and…
In short, the House of Representatives is so bitterly divided by ideology that its denizens cannot agree on even such an obvious piece of log-rolling and jobbery as the farm bill.
The farm bill – which, with an even-handed picking of the taxpayers’ pockets – dispenses boodle, booty, and pelf to both the hopeless clodhoppers of stalwart Republicanism and the urban slobs of the Democratic base.
The House of Representatives can’t get anything done.
Thank goodness.
But don’t get your hopes up…
The Senate is threatening to bring forth a farm bill of its own. And this is likely to be so much bigger, stupider, and more wildly expensive than the House version that – no matter how vitriolic their political differences – it will bring Democrats and Republicans together to rob the public.
Impartial Reader: Rob the public of how much?
Well, we’re talking in terms of the “Yacht Purchase Rule” here – “If you have to ask how much it costs, you can’t afford it.” Prepare yourself for the kind of numbers that have a Hale-Bopp Comet tail of zeros behind them.
The farm bill, in its current form (and, remember, it will get worse), calls for five-year appropriations costing $421.5 billion, according to Congressional Budget Office (CBO) estimates.
However, the CBO traditionally uses a 10-year time frame to estimate the costs of any authorization bill containing government mandates to spend money. This is because they’re not dummies at the CBO, and they know full well that government mandates, once instituted, never go away.
Thus the CBO predicts that the long-term cost of the 2018 farm bill will be $867 billion.
Yes, the $867 billion is stretched out over a decade. This is like the government saying, “We’re going to cut off all your toes, but that’s OK, we’re only going to cut off one a year.” The damage to taxpayers, no matter how you spread it, is $867 billion.
The Impartial Reader interjects: But farming is vital to the American economy…
Or not. Although there are 2.1 million farms and ranches in America, less than 2% of the U.S. workforce is employed in agriculture. American agricultural output is 1% of GDP.
Impartial Reader: But farmers are poor, hard-working folks…
Hard-working? Yes. Poor? According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA), farm and ranch household median income is $76,250 compared to the national household median income of $59,039. The USDA says the average farm is 444 acres. Bloomberg says the average price of agricultural land is $3,080 per acre. To “buy the farm” nowadays means, on average, $1,367,520.
Impartial Reader: Wait a minute! Divide $867 billion by 2.1 million. Are you saying these rich hicks are going to get $412,857.14 apiece?…
I am NOT saying that.
More than 75% of farm bill spending has absolutely nothing to do with farming.
Of the farm bill’s $867 billion, $664 billion will be spent on what used to be called food stamps, which is now called “Nutrition,” which is mainly the “Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program” or “SNAP,” which is food stamps.
When the Food Stamp Act of 1964 was passed, the USDA estimated that the original 350,000 program participants might eventually grow in number to 4 million and that the annual cost of providing Food Stamps could go up – up to almost $3 billion (adjusted for inflation).
There are now 44.2 million people enrolled in SNAP at a cost of $70.9 billion a year.
We have obeyed the Biblical injunction to feed the hungry. Indeed, we’ve obeyed it too well – 39.6% of American adults are obese, needing to lose at least 30 pounds.
We have obeyed the Biblical injunction to feed the hungry. Indeed, we’ve obeyed it too well – 39.6% of American adults are obese, needing to lose at least 30 pounds. And it’s hard to see how SNAP has not been part of the problem. When the program began, the national obesity rate was, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 14.5%. Currently the adults who qualify for SNAP, with income at or below 130% of the federal poverty level, have an obesity rate of 45.2%.
Perhaps we should move on to another Biblical injunction such as “clothe the naked.” Lena Dunham could use some help in this regard.
As noted, of the farm bill’s $867 billion, $664 billion goes to “Nutrition.” (Or – since one-third of Americans are in danger of getting stuck in their bathtubs – let’s just come right out and call it “Pork.”) Another $4 billion goes to things like “export promotion programs.” (I’m picturing USDA officials sent overseas to teach the Chinese how to eat corn on the cob.) And only the remaining $199 billion goes to farmers.
Most of that $199 billion will be spent on three things:
• Crop insurance
• Commodity price supports
• Conservation
But why should we taxpayers be paying for these?
Farming is a business like any other. I’m a writer. Writing is a business. Admittedly, writing isn’t as fundamentally important as growing food. (Although I’ve had to eat my words often enough.) But, per our obesity statistics, America doesn’t need more food. And America does need – there are indications of this at the very highest level of our government – to be able to read.
Also, according to the U.S. Commerce Department, the “Media and Entertainment Industry” – of which I am a part – accounts for 6.9% of U.S. GDP. So E-I-E-I-O to you, Old MacDonald, and your On-that-farm-there-was-a-Agricultural-and-Nutrition-Act-of-2018.
With a $664 billion here and a
$199 billion there
Here a billion, there a billion
Everywhere $867 billion
Anyway, as I was saying… writing is a business just like farming. Writing something takes the same kind of patience and care that growing something does. And, like farming, writing is dependent on the weather. If the weather is too good, I can’t get any writing done because I’m outdoors playing golf.
Specifically, I am a humor writer. I often get the “seed” of a hilarious idea and, frankly, it just refuses to grow into a healthy stalk of humor. It isn’t funny at all. It just sort of droops over and dies. I wind up with jokes that are a load of crop.
Why isn’t my crop insurance subsidized?
Writing is also a commodity, the way agricultural products are. And the dollar value of my commodity has been falling drastically. Print magazines are dead, newspapers are dying, and the book-publishing business is in dire straits. Plus, at my age, I’m not the young, hip, edgy writer who connects with the Millennial sense of humor, assuming there is one. I could use some price support here!
And then there’s conservation. Preserving the environment happens by paying farmers to take good care of their property. My property is me. And humorists are part of the environment – at least we will be until political progressives require all humor to be recycled so that it’s bias-free and gender-neutral. Plus, I’m 70 – I need some preservation.
Impartial Reader: Oh yeah? What about Social Security and Medicare?
Well, um, yes, there is that…
Social Security costs about $1 trillion a year, and Medicare costs another $672 billion or so. If we use the CDC traditional 10-year time frame for government mandates to project Social Security and Medicare costs over the next decade… and if we assume that nobody gets older and sicker making those costs rise… we’re talking about $15.67 trillion.
Impartial Reader: Which sort of dwarfs the farm bill’s $867 billion.
My bad.
What’s a mere $867 billion in government handouts to other people compared to a $15.67 trillion handout to me? I apologize.
I’ve written a bitter and spiteful piece charging Congress with robbery, calling Republicans clodhoppers and Democrats slobs, accusing farmers of being economically negligible and poor people of being fat (I’m no sylph myself), telling Lena Dunham to put her clothes on, claiming the president of the United States is illiterate, and insulting po-faced Millennials for having no sense of humor.
Impartial Reader: You should take it all back.
I take it all back.
U.S. federal government mandatory spending is more than $2.7 trillion a year – we’re all on the government gravy train.
Impartial Reader: And why shouldn’t farmers be on the gravy train, too? After all, they made the gravy.
